NEW ELEMENT DISCOVERED

Researchers have recently discovered the heaviest element known to science:

Administratium

Administratium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.  These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, which is surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since  Administratium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected because it impedes or halts every reaction with which it comes into contact. A miniscule amount of Administratium can slow reactions dramatically, completely consuming every resource with which it comes into contact.  Administratium has normal half-life of three years. It does not decay but, instead, undergoes a metamorphosis of its basic organization, in which a number of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons and assistant deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Administratium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization causes some morons to become neutrons, forming Isodopes.  This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration during its formation period, known as departmentis. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "critical morass".

You will know it when you see it.